Query Letter Help

Sharing the query letter that landed my agent, how I’d change it if I was querying now, query checklist before hitting send, and how my book description changed after selling to a Big 5 Publisher.

A few things before we get into the letter: I’ve been out of the query trenches for three years now. There are plenty of mistakes in this query, or at least aspects I would change if I were querying now, but I think it’s worth sharing because it shows that your query letter doesn’t have to be perfect as long as it intrigues an agent enough to want to read more.

That being said, querying agents today is harder than it’s ever been before, so it’s imperative you ensure that your query letter and manuscript is the best it can possibly be before entering the query trenches.

I also think it could be worth while to mark the differences in the book description I wrote versus the one my pub team came up with, just to get an idea of how much has changed since I first queried this book.

The Query Letter I sent

Dear Root Literary,

I’m querying Samantha Fabien, or anyone interested in Adult Contemporary Romance manuscripts. I hope you will consider Rebounds Finish Last, a RomCom standalone with series potential where Jenny Han’s To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before meets Friends with Benefits. Featuring fake dating, a mid-sized nerdy librarian MC, and Latinx representation, it’s complete at 84,000 words and great for fans of The Worst Best Man and Spoiler Alert. 

Marcela Ortiz is used to lying. She’s still hung up on her college ex despite agreeing they’re better off as friends, a lie she’s carried for years. When he becomes engaged to the woman who came after her, however, she knows it’s long past time to move on. But before she can truly process the news, she has a bigger problem to contend with in the form of Theo Young, ex-NFL player and her ex’s older brother. At the engagement party, Marcela not only discovers Theo’s feelings for his brother’s fiancé, but that he plans to confess in hopes of running away with the bride-to-be. Although confronted with a frighteningly tempting choice, Marcela ultimately convinces Theo he’s about to make a huge mistake and let’s him sleep off his drunken near-blunder on her couch. But when they arrive at a family brunch together the next day, everyone gets the wrong idea about why they really left the party early. 

Since Theo’s in need of a cover and Marcela finds herself drawn to help him, they let everyone assume they’re hooking up. Until one night, a kiss that’s only supposed to be for show uncovers a layer of attraction neither realized was there. What starts as a lie to friends and family slowly becomes a lie they tell themselves the further they take their physical attraction. There’s no denying their rebound is working far better than either of them expected, but the catch is - they have very different ideas about where their “relationship” is going. After all, you know what they say about rebounds…

I am a Mexican-American writer from South Texas. I have a bachelors in English from the University of Texas at San Antonio, and work as a Library Aide. I’m currently in school for Library Sciences to become a Youth Librarian. I can be found on Instagram @gabbyreadsalot talking about books and writing. You can find the first ten sample pages pasted below. 

Thank you for your consideration, 

Gabriella Gamez

Some context

Root Literary has changed their submission guidelines since I first queried back in 2021 as more of their agents have switched over to using Query Manager. I sent the above query to Root’s submission email and got an email directly from Sam a few days later requesting the full manuscript. As a general reminder, make sure you’re reading the agency’s submission guideline before querying!

What I Would Change Now

For starters, I’d cut the movie comps since I don’t think they’re as meaningful as the book comps on the next line. I also think the first paragraph of my book description feels very clunky, so I’d probably try to find a few places to trim it down. Queries should be short and sweet, one page or less, so generally anywhere you can find to trim it down as much as possible is great.

What I Did Right

Other than a clunky first paragraph, I’m a bit surprised reading this back because it still feels very spiritually similar to how I describe this book to people now.

The most important part of your query letter is going to be those two body paragraphs describing the book. That’s where your letter should shine. It should hook an agent to want to read more and accurately describe what your book is about (there’s nothing worse than disappointing an agent with an inaccurate portrayal of your book).

Some additional advice that I think still stands today: ending the letter with “for your consideration” since there’s no guarantee an agent will get back to you (especially in the age of ghosting), including social media handles especially if you’re active in the online book community (but definitely not required!), and including the “standalone with series potential” descriptor, because by the time I signed with my agent and we were ready to go out on submission, my agent knew what my hopes were for this book and how to negotiate when it came time for the book deal.

Checklist (before Writing/Sending The Query)

  • Read the literary agency’s submission guidelines (multiple times if needed)

  • A completed, polished manuscript

  • A 1-2 page synopsis of your book, including spoilers

  • Hope!

Query Letter Checklist

  • Agent’s name (who you’re addressing)

  • Book title (intro)

  • Genre and age category (intro)

  • Word count (intro)

  • At least two book comps that are as current as possible (intro)

  • If you’re comfortable and if applicable, a short description of any representation present in the book (intro or body describing the characters)

  • A two-three paragraph description of your book (body paragraphs)

    • Names of your main characters

    • What they want (hook), what it’ll take to get what they want (predicament), and what will happen if they don’t get what they want (stakes)

    • If you’re having trouble, read and analyze the book descriptions of your favorite books or practice writing book descriptions for recent books you’ve read

  • A short bio paragraph, including your name. If writing under a pen name, make sure to include both pen name and legal name (ex: Thank you for your consideration, Legal Name writing as Pen Name) (closing)

Further advice

This is where don’t feel as qualified to give advice anymore. I’m three years out of the trenches, and everything to do with querying is harder and quieter than ever. There were a lot of different opinions on personalization and batch querying vs. querying all agents at once. My advice here is to use your best judgement. As far as personalization goes, I don’t know that it makes a difference in getting an agent to respond faster. I didn’t in mine, and still signed with agent. Your best bet there is going to be reading the submission guidelines.

When it comes to batch querying vs. querying all agents at once: It was once believed that batch querying a handful of agents at a time was the way to go to “test the waters” to see if your query letter was solid. Well, as much as I hate to say it, these days the water is…quiet, even with amazing queries and manuscripts.

This is ultimately going to be a gut-check moment with yourself. If you feel your manuscript, synopsis, and query are all good to go with little chance of you updating or editing in any significant way, it’s looking like querying everyone all at once is the way to go. I won’t tell you what to do in that regard, that will be completely up to you and how comfortable you are with your query package.

Working with a big 5 publisher: New title, new book description, and a series name

It’s on the homepage, but here’s my pub official title and book description as a reminder:

THE NEXT BEST FLING: A Librarian’s in Love novel

Two broken hearts decide that the best way to get over their first loves is with a no-strings-attached relationship in this spicy and charming debut romance.

Librarian Marcela Ortiz has been secretly in love with her best friend for years—and when he gets engaged, she knows it’s long past time to move on. But before she gets the chance, she has a bigger problem to contend with in the form of Theo Young, ex-NFL player and older brother of the man she’s in love with. When she discovers Theo's plans to confess his feelings for his brother’s fiancée at their engagement party, Marcela is quick to stop him—despite how tempting it is to let him run away with the bride-to-be. She manages to convince Theo to sleep off his drunken almost-mistake at her place and when they arrive at a family brunch the next day together, everyone wrongly assumes they hooked up.

Since Theo needs a cover for his feelings for the bride and Marcela needs a distraction from her unrequited feelings for the groom, they decide to roll with the lie. Until one late night at a bar, they take it a step further and discover a layer of attraction neither realized existed. Soon, they find themselves exploring the simmering chemistry between them, whether in library aisles or Marcela's bed. There are no boundaries for the rebound relationship they form—just a host of complicated feelings, messy familial dynamics, and uncovered secrets that threaten to tear them apart before they can even admit to themselves that their rebound is working. Maybe a little too well.  

…

Definitely different, but very spiritually similar! My query’s first paragraph has never felt clunkier to me after reading the new book description LOL. Obviously, my publisher knows what they’re doing.

It’s also worth noting that my pub team decided to heavily market Marcela’s library career, which makes sense given the (glorious) cover of my characters making out in the library. It ended up working out perfectly since my working series title had been Librarians in Love, which they ended up running with!

I hope this helps any querying writers looking for guidance.

Good luck!